I wonder

Has been a while that I have not penned any word here. Close to one and a half years to be exact. Always had the thought to continue writing, but likewise, always had the excuse not to.

Writing this piece from Kuching, this is another round of my vacation season. A “me” time, albeit a short one this time around. A friend from CFA Peneraju class got hitched. A CFA journey that already took 3 years of our lives, since the first day we had never stopped working towards the ultimate goal to earn a charter qualification. Final L3 result will be announced in less than 2 weeks time, I pray hard that it went well.

During the break as well I had time pause and think. It was all these things that happened over the years. Over 5 years of work experience, 3 years of which spent mostly on CFA I am not sure whether I have embraced life enough.I wonder whether the time sacrificed to fulfil our dream is worth against not spending more time with friends and family. I wonder whether one by one of friends wedding that you missed and day by day of family time together that you could not get back would all be worthwhile. Not that parents are getting younger either. Those whispers to your soul. I wonder if this is the choices of life. I wonder if Ive spent enough time nevertheless. For those people around me and myself.

I somehow have started slowing down on career. I somehow got very laidback on this, or perhaps Im just tired thinking of other things. My GMAT test especially. My American dream. Things just don’t seem to end.

I wonder if this is what I want. Going through the entire painful process again? As I continue to age; oh that 3-series age curse which I’m starting to feel; this question sounds louder in my head. And I continue wondering. Until I time I could think no more. As much as love is indescribable if there is one thing I couldn’t go of my sight, I knew this would be the one.

In fact, I would not say the entire journey was entirely pointless as we created memento along the journey. These amazing people I have made friends with, n all those memories that we have created together. Wouldn’t have this had I not take the bushy uncharted path. As it always is, you will never know what you will encounter.

This journey to Santubong, well enough to be another memento that would be dear to our heart. But I myself shall know, this would be more than a journey. An experience. A lesson for all our lessons. That which ever path you take, it was fear that take us aback, and it was hope and courage that brought us up towards the end. One thing for sure, there would always be scenic views along the hilly highway.